Self Love and Care

If like me, you have spent years taking care of the family working, running the household, self love and care may be alien to you, however I'm realising just how important it is. Its not selfish, no need to feel guilty for taking time for yourself because if you are running on empty then everyone around you will suffer too. I started out by downloading an App called Insight Timer which has loads of guided meditations amongst other things on it. I stick my earphones in and just spend time shutting off and relaxing its taken some practice but it really does help me. I also felt the need to get help as i was in a pretty low way, i looked into CBT therapy and came across Tanya Weston Therapy, at first I could only talk on the phone I didn't feel confident enough to do a zoom call or meet in person but that soon changed and I have had zoom calls and face to face meeting as well as a few catch ups over coffee now as well. Tanya got me started on the road to getting my confidence back and helped me deal with my feelings of guilt that i had from wanting to do things for myself. CBT is something i highly recommend trying its different from counselling as you actually get ways of dealing with your issues rather than just talking about them. You can get CBT through your doctor, self referring on the NHS or paying a private therapist.

A few months ago a conversation with a friend resulted in me starting wild water swimming in Lake Ullswater with five other fabulous ladies, I absolutely love it and fully intend on keeping it up throughout winter. I wear a wetsuit I still get the benefit of the cold water but i also get the benefit of the exercise from swimming. Its half an hour in the water twice a week or sometimes more, we get there early and it really sets us up for the rest of the day I cant tell you what a buzz I get from it. We also usually stand and have a natter and put the world to rights afterwards over a hot brew while we thaw out. This has also led to me starting running as the other ladies are all runners that have done Ultras, marathons etc not sure i will go that far but im enjoying the social side of running meeting other people while having fun and getting fit whats not to love?? I was never a runner before always hated it but now I think i just might be a runner after all. I have also joined the local squash club. This is something i used to play in my teens and loved it but i never kept it up, so after always thinking i should try it again and never doing anything about it i finally got the courage to contact them and join. There is a ladies night once a week which is great, no pressure just fun exercise and getting to hit a ball very hard against a wall which is a very good stress reliever I can tell you!!

I am also trying lots of other new things ive done a furniture restoration course, an upholstery course, ive had a go at being hypnotised to see what was involved with a view to learning how to do it, i was also shown Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprogramming (EMDR) which was fascinating and I felt this was great at helping with underlying mental health issues. I'm also trying EFT tapping which I feel is something that works, look on YouTube at guided tapping techniques to try. I have had Rieki and reflexology and have just signed up to do a course in those too. I'm enjoying learning new things it gets my brain going, helps get rid of the brain fog and gives me something to look forward to.

I have spent about 18yrs working with my husband in out own business, I have been the one sat at home in the office, which has given me the flexibility to bring up the kids but not something I have ever enjoyed doing it, ive just done it, but now it has started getting me down, stressing me out and its also very very boring so I'm getting out. Again this isn't easy, finding someone to work in a home office is quite difficult, but we are getting there. I do have days where I need to get in the office but I make sure I limit the time and keep having breaks as I don't want to end up really down again, its not worth it.

Some ideas for self love & care, i will keep adding to the list as there are loads of things you can do to take some time for yourself. if you don't think you have time, take an honest look at the amount of time you spend on social media and try cutting that down, its amazing how much time you can get back just by doing that.

• Spend an evening watching your favourite programme

• Try a detox bath using some Epsom salts and essential oils or your favourite bubbles.

• visit a place you love

• Learn something new

• Speak to someone you love

• Spend some time in nature

• Try meditation

• Learn a new language

• Put on your favourite tunes and have a dance around the room its great fun

• Walk or exercise daily. This is one of the best ways to improve your mood it gets the endorphins going.